You now remember that the Saturn Relay was a thing.

"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada) 09/18/2016 at 16:06 • Filed to: None

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God the U-Bodies were utter pieces of shit. And they sold a FUCKTON of them in Canada, especially the Montana SV6.

Which was so terrible that it was discontinued in America after like a year of being sold. But for some fucking reason, Canadians just ate these hunks of shit up. Even when there was plenty superior minivans on the market like the Sienna, Odyssey, Caravan, Sedona, Freestar, and getting kicked in the balls so hard that you won’t need a minivan.

Why did people buy the U-Body? Fuck if I know!

Oh, and on the subject of mid-2000s (mostly) Canada-exclusive Pontiacs, the Pursuit, which in it’s final years was sold to the Americans as the G5.

PS9 > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:09

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Nothing says ‘driving excitement’ like a minivan full of screaming children and crushed dreams.

LongbowMkII > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:10

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Truly the most badge engineered vehicle of all time.

I almost want a beater one for a work van. But then I remember GM 60' V6.

Matthew Phillips > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:11

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I remember wanting a Freestar....

Now I want an Odyssey

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:12

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A girl I went to high school with had a G5 coupe, I always thought they should’ve made a GXP version (Pontiac badges on the Cobalt SS)

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:12

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earlier ones arent that bad, come on. but the later models...

yes. they are pitiful little boxes of misery.

Matthew Phillips > PS9 09/18/2016 at 16:13

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You’re minvaning wrong if it’s crushed dreams and screaming children. I see a day truck with a comfortable ride and cheap insurance. I can’t wait to fill one up :P

not for canada - australian in disguise > Matthew Phillips 09/18/2016 at 16:13

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Compared to the U-Body, the Freestar was flat out NICE.

Of course, this is all relative, I’d still rather kill myself than drive a Freestar.

Matthew Phillips > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:16

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ditto

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:16

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These things ate rear tires like a chubby kid at a Chinese buffet.

interstate366, now In The Industry > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:16

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My neighbor has an SV6. Ugh.

Urambo Tauro > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:18

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Every time I see one of these, the first thing I notice is the windshield wipers. 99% of the time, they’re sticking straight up.

(Ok, maybe not the first-gen U-Bodies, just the later ones.)

mazda616 > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:19

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The G5 was only sold as a coupe in the U.S., just like the 2003-2005 Sunfire. For some reason, though, Canadians got them in sedan version.

ranwhenparked > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:21

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It was an attempt to trick people into buying minivans by sticking that nose on the front, the idea was that two box shape= crossover. They were low budget and half assed when new, and time certainly hasn’t been kind to them.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:37

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True story:

I worked for On*Star from 2004-09. First as a call center lackey and then I was promoted to a training position.

Back in the mid-2000s Chevrolet was in the mindset of SS ALL THE THINGS!

Which led to:

And

As well as:

You can tell by the earlier S/C wheels that this is the N/A SS sedan with the 2.4 ecotec

And finally a decent application of the badge, like this:

And this:

Anyway, in 2006 or so when the 3.6 V6 DI was about to be introduced in the new 08 CTS, , they were planning two more models for the SS treatment:

The Equinox, which was done but they changed its trim to “Sport”

Note the big air intakes in the bumper and monochrome grill treatment

And the U-body Uplander.

According to the internal GM intelligence site, it was to be equipped with the 300-hp 3.6 liter “high feature” DI v6, exclusive 18" wheels, exclusive sport seats with SS upholstery, wider anti-roll bars, slightly lowered suspension, and optional all wheel drive.

Slow sales and the Lambda crossovers killed it before it could unleash its speedy mediocrity on the American motoring public.

gmctavish needs more space > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:41

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God I despise these things. And I see them EVERYWHERE. It's awful, I see more of them than I do Siennas and Odysseys of the same age. I'm just glad there are as many Astros/Safaris running around too, and they'll surely outlast the U-bodies

CTSenVy > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 16:45

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I had to drive a Chevy Uplander for work. I went though about 4 wheel bearing in 3 years. It had a lot of faults, but it did cruise down the highway fairly well.

RazoE > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 17:05

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Yeah, but they didn’t know good vans existed. Canada didn’t get the internet until 2012.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 17:51

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I remember seeing a lot of Chevy Ventures growing up, along with the odd Mercury Villager. Those brands died a brutal death and nearly took GM to hell with them. Didn’t realize they were that bad. A Toyota Previa took me from early childhood to middle school, then the Caravan took it from there through most of university.

RT > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/18/2016 at 19:36

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Wait the old Sedona and Caravan were nicer than this?

These must've been some pretty bad cars then. :/

I love the DustBuster U-Bodies though, mainly because they look so cool.

not for canada - australian in disguise > RT 09/18/2016 at 19:46

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Yes. They were.

RT > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/19/2016 at 05:51

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Ouch. Let’s see how bad then…

Would you rather have a Saturn Relay, or one of these?

not for canada - australian in disguise > RT 09/19/2016 at 08:06

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Unironically the Ssangyong.

RT > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/19/2016 at 09:43

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I have to agree by the looks of things, at least the Ssangyong has character. :/

Amoore100 > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/02/2016 at 20:49

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I cannot physically believe that that pile of junk was sold alongside our Odyssey. Interior looks like it was done by Playskool whereas the Ody’s would look ok in an Acura.